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One or 100 of Us has to Leave

The honeymoon is over.  After two years there is no spark and trust is gone.  What used to be exciting and fun feels more like, "don't poke me with that first thing in the morning" and "fine, just make it quick and get off me."

After being separated locked out and having to virtually hack my way back in this week for over three months I realize something has to change.

I've served my facebook account with divorce papers.  I'm very much in a "I hate the way you chew, breathe, and hog the remote and if you don't pack up your stuff & get out I may try to poison your cornflakes" place right now.   It's like toilet seats being left up and farts under the covers all over again (and eww) and-oh-by-the-way "You slept with a couple hundred of my friends!"

Call it irreconcilable differences.

It isn't all facebook's fault.  I am guilty for just "giving it up" pretty easily too - you know the deal.  You accept one person's friend request, someone else sees it, and the next thing you know your facebook page is a whorehouse of privacy settings revolving door.

To make it worse I'm contemplating an affair with have already built a separate page for this blog (not yet published).  Maybe it will be a breath of fresh air - or masochistic. Ci vediamo. We'll see.

Ironically not 5 minutes after writing "facebook can suck it" in an e-mail for the umpteenth time this morning to apologize for being a reclusive bitch, the following link came across my twitter feed from a respected blogger: "No offense, I don't want to be friends on facebook."

I read it, I retweeted it. Oh, hey - it's not just me!  I'm still reading the comments today and I HIGHLY recommend this read for anyone else who is drinking the hateraide with respect to their facebook situation right now.

Sara Rosso worded it better than I ever could (and if you don't know who she is, you haven't read the above link).  In trying to keep all my relationships separate with lists (I have 20 'groups' at last count) & permissions, I've impacted others.  I have no faith that my different types of relationships with different people will be respected given the current format.

For now my facebook page remains locked down and tied up in a custody battle between annoying clutter, nagging, and my (somewhat) better judgement.  Anything I feel like disclosing publicly about my life and "what I am thinking" is written here.  The other aspects of my life and my personal relationships remain with the real people, and facebook will not get custody of any of it.

Basta.  Non voglio giocare adesso.  Enough.  I just don't want to play right now.
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Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2011 at 5:57 PM

    Amen, sister! I like real people...check that...some real people. They're more fun to drink with!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Val February 10, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Yes they are - and I like what she said about how "being on facebook doesn't change our relationship." I'm always here. Some things are just meant to be between friends...not a couple hundred folks. Hugs, my soul sister!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    Thank you! If I have to see another person's "farm" I just may stick a fork in my eye

    ReplyDelete
  4. Val February 11, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    @Robyn - Oh, that's easy - anyone that sends stuff like that instantly gets 'unfriended.' Done.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    I'm so with you on that.

    I'll admit I'm very picky: I rarely -if ever- top out at 50 friends, and I routinely go through and weed out people I haven't seen in the last 6 months in real life (real friends in other parts of the world, excluded). If I haven't seen you in longer than that, obviously you're not much of a friend, so why should I read your "what I had for breakfast" nonsense? That's my take on it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Val February 11, 2011 at 10:35 AM

    ADOC - that's what I'm trying to do right now. Despite my bitchy exterior, I still shared stuff with many of these folks and feel bad because people get offended when you don't want to use your facebook page they way they use theirs. For some being on facebook has brought us a little back into each other's lives and I've been reunited with some special ladies I lost touch with in the old 'letter writing' days and all my moves - and even got to have a reunion and hug each other again!

    For everyone with whom I haven't connected in the last year I had to cut them away. There's always the 'you unfriended me but not her' thing - but my relationship with each person cannot - and will not - be defined by a silly social media platform.

    This blog, yes, is our public place, and while facebook is not 'private' - there are some things that I'd like to share with friends again that many of these folks don't need (or really care) to be privy to.

    I think I was more of an 'entertainment' value than anything else. Thoughts on a blog page (I hate the word fan)? Thinking it may be a nice place for folks that actually care what Val is up to that I never really swapped too much spit with like that.

    The amount of brain cells I've spent on this is shameful, really.

    ReplyDelete

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All entries are strictly observations from my point of view. This blog is not intended as professional commentary on travel, wine, food, or any other subjects I discuss - it is for entertainment, an online journal, for my friends, family, and anyone interested in my stories or journey in general.

Therefore, I reserve the right to delete comments for any reason, including those that are malevolent or inflammatory toward myself or other commenters.

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