 | |
| Amarone with my ladies! |
I usually ball my eyes out at these things and was deathly afraid of pending snivels that afternoon as my friends strategically placed boxes of tissue around the room and placed funny friends in the front row for laughter support in the even I started to feel weepy. During rehearsals I snapped at friends who were talking during the readings. At one point, just before walking down the aisle, I squirreled myself away in an office across the hall to meditate and hopefully Reiki away the butterflies.
Something magical happened during that 15 minutes of solitude. A strange peace blanketed me, I became calm, half smiling, knowing this was where I was supposed to be, and this was the walk I was supposed to take in this moment. My dear friend of 25 years was officiating the ceremony, once again there for me as she was at the beginning of it all when we were both 18-year-old kids; it was the sound of her voice in the hallway that gently coaxed me back to full cognizance.
 | |
| It's over! |
Everyone stood as we filed in, took our positions in the front of the room, and the music was played. After that, it was a blur. I remember tears, sniffles – but surprisingly none of them were mine.
Yes, the thing I had feared most – breaking down at the thought of ending this journey – was not going to manifest itself after all! I was ready – and I knew it.
Two years ago today, I look back only because the people in that room mean so much to me, and it is very rare that one has the opportunity to enjoy friends and family the way I did over those few days – all in the same room.
The next time this group of people would be in the same room in your honor, I thought, is your funeral. Let’s do this right!
Hell yes there was wine! In fact, I think just about every photo for the next 8 hours I have a glass of wine in one hand. I do know I didn't drink a lot because I wanted to keep my wits (and emotions) about me and really soak in every moment that would be gone in the blink of a (still tear free!) eye.
 |
| Toasts with the ladies afterwards |
And a custom cake made to look like a wine barrel, complete with fondant bottle, and a terra cotta planter of red geraniums –
 | |
| Chocolate mud w/ fresh raspberries & espresso butter cream/Almond & orange liqueur w/ mocha buttercream |
There were cigars (out of respect for my friends I don't post these - and you're welcome, ladies, although you all look fabulous in the photos!) – enjoyed with a gifted bottle of Amarone from my favorite Wine Bar in the whole world!
We all changed into party dresses before I mutilated the cake and continued to enjoy each other's company until ... well, I went to bed about 1AM, but Dad and a handful a friends were still up shooting pool in the basement of our rented Villa on the 10th green.
Most of all – there was laughter - a lot of it - and even more love.
I look back today to honor not so much the end of a career, but the beginning of a journey of a lifetime and everyone with whom I'm lucky enough to share all of it!
Salute!
Were you a policewoman, or in the armed forces?
ReplyDeleteWhat is a celebration without wine..especially Prosecco :-) That is my wine of choice whenever there is a special occasion to be celebrated ! Salute`
ReplyDeleteOk, lady, I had no idea u were in the military! holy cripes, this is the first post that had reference to it..Congrats u brave woman! And why do u feel it would next be a funeral- what about a wedding?
ReplyDelete@Jane - Good morning/afternoon where you are - I was in the armed forces and actually lived in various places around Oxfordshire about 20 years ago, which I adored!
ReplyDelete@Jeff - Thank you! Now that I think about it, I think we went through 3 cases - of each wine! There was a white, a red blend from Cline Cellars that was a real crowd pleaser, & 3 cases of Riondo Brut. It really is a great celebration wine which I love with many salty or slightly fatty appetizers.
@Chrissy - I may have alluded to it before, but have always been protective of how much personal information (other than silly thoughts & observations) I put out there - especially where it affects others, my friends, or family.
As for weddings (hate them), been married (trapped) twice and not only have zero desire to ever go there again, the thought of being tied to someone the rest of my life gives me the creeps - no matter how wonderful he is or we are together. I've found more happiness (and the great love for 7 of those) in the 12 years I've been single than the 12 years I had with either husband & do not need a piece of paper -or a dude - to make life any more delicious at this point. Yes, I'm that woman - I celebrate single like it's a gift every day.
So let's just say my funeral better be one hell of a party, and the suggested wine list will be scrawled on the outside of my will!
Val: I see what is out there now, and no way would I ever get married again... I was lucky w/ what I had and yes he had his faults but no where compared to what is out there now..omg... I'd choose the nunnery first...somehow it would be less stress and less baggage.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you! And don't get me wrong, I loved Dipshit #1 & Dipshit #2 and don't regret marrying them at all. But as I like to say, "people come into your life for a reason, and they go for a reason - ciaaaoo, fellas!"
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it - the stress of relationships - don't need it and recently had a keen reminder of why I didn't date or go near men for 3 years ... except to drink and smoke cigars with them. They're great for that!
In essence, some women want love and never find it. Having been either in love or falling out of it since I was 15, I must admit I've felt the entire gamut. Blessed to have loved, sometimes lost without a map or a clue, gotten deliriously drenched in passion some will only ever read about, sometimes walking away, sometimes running, and many times crying with girlfriends - a kleenex in one hand, a death grip on a glass in the other. To allow the greatest & most enduring love of my life to respectfully revert back to a precious and supporting friendship - knowing love will always be there, just in a different form beats any marital experience I've had. To know you could die with a smile right now knowing you've missed out on nothing? Priceless, my friend.
And WTF? This, in and of itself, is an entire blog post. I just got off the yoga mat - I guess this is what happens. Enjoy your Sunday out there, Chrissy!
Wow, Val. I admire all that you have accomplished and all that you are doing now. It sounds to me as if you will always have love in your life. You value your friends and family ,and they can't help but love you in return.
ReplyDeleteVal: I would love to have love again, but I will not settle just to have a change in status. I have found the men I have met are taken aback because I don't need a man financially, that i can think and decide for myself.. But, I do want love but w/that comes honor, loyalty, integrity, selflessness, sincerity... Guess its a tall order huh?
ReplyDelete@Michele - Thank you once again - you always see through all my blah blah blah, don't you? Love is important, that is true - but it has so many forms.
ReplyDelete@Chrissy - Yes it is, my dear - I trust very few of them. My financial security & independence is also so important to me, and don't believe there's anyone worth risking that or changing my lifestyle for. If one day I get bit in the ass by that dude that makes me eat these words? Well, I'll have to find the appropriate wine to pair with them, won't I?
And what a wonderful 2 years it has been! Well deserved, I'm sure :)
ReplyDeleteThank you - I like to think everyone deserves to do what they love - even if it means a crazy detour from every day routine. That said, I don't think I could ever go back to a daily routine that involved a 9-5 office gig! Am ruined. Happily.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't it seem like a lifetime ago??? You have done so much since then...
ReplyDeleteIt really does, Joan - sometimes a different life altogether. Also amazing when friends use acronyms like "CGSC" in e-mails that I have to stop & try to remember what the hell that is. (Then when I do remember, glad I gave all that a big fat "pass" and moved on.) Amazing how your perspective can change with all these experiences - and more grateful of the friends who are still here to share them...SO good to see you all again.
ReplyDeleteA very special day indeed, for a career journey to be truly very proud of. You were clearly highly talented as well as valued to have achieved the rank of Major in such a professionally demanding and male dominated organisation. Thankfully, the world is still very much a safer place because of the long term efforts (and sacrifices) made by so many bright and devoted people like you throughout the armed services of the civilised countries of the world. I for one, am a passionate life long supporter of the vast majority of members of the armed services – past and present – so I doff my hat to you Valerie, figuratively speaking, for your 25 years of service and achievements as an officer and a lady of the U.S.A.F. Mighty impressive stuff. My respects and congratulations to you.
ReplyDeleteA seminal moment too. No wonder you took off to Italy the way you did. As per everyone else here, as well as your close friends at home and sprinkled around Italy now…I sincerely wish you a long and just as rewarding career number two, in whatever area or discipline you eventually choose to immerse yourself into at some point in the future. I have no doubt you’ll end up ‘leading the way’ and making a difference, just as you’ve done before. Bon chance.
Your ‘straight from the heart words’ expressed within here were both brave and deeply moving to read too Valerie.
Salut.
( My sincere apologies for referring to ‘GI Jane’ in a previous silly comment. If I’d had the good sense to read this blog post first and better understand your rank and service, out of personal respect, I would never have used such a phrase, even in innocent humour as I’m sure it was taken – honestly.)
As a penance then, I will slope off quietly now and leave you to plan and organise your next big adventure, while I consider writing my blogger ‘commenting’ memoirs on the back of a small piece of grease proof paper. P.
Thank you, Phil for your words & sentiments. No worries on the GI Jane comment - very little offends me. In fact, I'm usually the one doing the offending, if possible - must be a competitive thing. The funny thing is the incredulous looks I get after "all that" I chose to just study wine. Life is short, man.
ReplyDelete