1. Dinner tonight is a new recipe I like to call One Handed Chicken.
2. I’m having this dinner with what many guys would consider their dates tonight – AKA right hand.
3. I’m considering asking Pampered Chef to cut (pun intended) me in on the marketing of how sharp their knives really are.
See, this is all hilarious now, but a few hours ago it was more like this:
A. " I think I got the bleeding stopped."
B. "Same hand, same knife. Yep. Avocado. Christmas Day '03 it wasfucking chestnuts and 8 hours in the ER."
C. "Don’t chefs do this all the time? I watch Chopped, you know. Can we just glue it back together and forego the stitches this time?"
So while I attempt to type, cook, and do other things with just my right hand, please enjoy my one of my favorite Pink (treadmill) songs.
Pink - You and Your Hand from Art Department on Vimeo.
2. I’m having this dinner with what many guys would consider their dates tonight – AKA right hand.
3. I’m considering asking Pampered Chef to cut (pun intended) me in on the marketing of how sharp their knives really are.
See, this is all hilarious now, but a few hours ago it was more like this:
A. " I think I got the bleeding stopped."
B. "Same hand, same knife. Yep. Avocado. Christmas Day '03 it was
C. "Don’t chefs do this all the time? I watch Chopped, you know. Can we just glue it back together and forego the stitches this time?"
So while I attempt to type, cook, and do other things with just my right hand, please enjoy my one of my favorite Pink (treadmill) songs.
Pink - You and Your Hand from Art Department on Vimeo.
Fantastic title for this post. Now, what the hell happened?!
ReplyDeleteI always used to reckon that French emergency units were on full alert on New Year's Eve for the 'oyster knife through palm of hand while drinking muscadet' incidents...
ReplyDeleteOUCH! It's definitely not a laughing matter slashing yourself with a kitchen knife. Hope the wine anaesthetised you well!
ReplyDeleteGotta love Pink.. she has saved my sanity in many a day!. btw my oldest did a number on her index finger w/an immersion blender.. she was trying to clean it out, and dummy put her finger near the blade... oh did i mention she failed to unplug it? her other hand slipped down on the ON switch... lets just say her sis was there heard her scream, guess these was blood splatter.... a lot of bandaids and neosporin... a bit of skin is gone and her feeling in her finger is a bit dull? Told her there is a reason for unpluging or better yet, use something else to get the stuck food out of the blade!. DUH....lol.. this is also a heads up since I never heard of anyone leaving something plugged in while trying to clean it.
ReplyDelete@Sam - I was a dumbass with an avocado and sliced my hand.
ReplyDelete@Fly - That bottle of Muscadet in my wine chiller just heard you call its name and wants out now, but I'll be damned if I'm shucking any oysters for it. Going with scallops, me thinks.
@Desiree - Luckily this was not as bad as it could have been and the ER was nearly empty and fabulous (big step up from what I was used to before).
@Chrissy - Oh how Pink has saved me MANY times - can't not love her. You know, I met a lady here who had the same run in with an immersion blender a year ago. She was lucky her emergency responder boyfriend was nearby with his kit.
I hope you fine ladies all have a lovely weekend!
Ouch! Hope it heals quickly! Good thing you're ambidextrous when it comes to holding a wine glass.
ReplyDeleteSharp knife, clean cut - I'll drink to that! Hugs~
ReplyDeleteOuch, that must have been painful. YOu din't realize how much you need both of your hands until you can't use one of them.
ReplyDeleteWe do take all our limbs/body parts for granted sometimes, let me tell you!
ReplyDeleteEeeeeeuwe. I always used to shred my mitts to buggery trying to julienne those bloody avocado stones nice and neatly too. Till the nurse suggested I just try eating the greeny fruit part I’d been chucking in the bin, instead.
ReplyDeleteIt is hence now then, my sweetest of pleasures to thus delicately impart this tiny morsel of once painfully digested culinary wisdom…on to thou.
Amazing what you learn, in it. S’wot friends are for.
Never really took to the taste of those stones anyway. Even when I boiled them in water all day long, they still tasted like fence post. Vastly overrated if you ask me.
Phil! Love that you stopped by with some culinary wisdom. Blasted avocados. Last time it was the chestnuts - and I know how much you love them, but am sure you have no desire to imagine this Pampered Chef tool of death anywhere near them... Cheers!
ReplyDelete