Possible captions:
1) Leftovers
2) Lunch [indeed, I did forget to eat lunch today, so I guess this is it]
3) It's 3:09 on a Friday. Sue me.
So that about sums up this week, and month for that matter. At least twice I managed to smack myself in the eye with a trash bag. I mean, who does this??? You know, when you are shaking out the liner so it will actually do its job and line the trash can? Note to self: goggles when doing basic house chores.
Scared - and almost ran into - myself in a restaurant bathroom last night. Twice. Stupid place for a mirror.
Finally, I'm mourning my last neighborhood. Sure the house was nice, and I had neighbors who were home during the day to talk with. But it's the UPS guy I'm missing the most.
Since I've come out of the direct sales closet you all know I have beaucoup wine delivered to my door. No, it's not always for me; it's for client tastings or customers who can't sit home and work with a bottle next to their printer all day and take delivery of their booze. Well, in the last hood, the UPS guy was reliable and regular. I usually knew what time he would come round and could hear or see him drive up, heavy metal blasting,
The next week he came to the door and I was handing him a return package. "Something didn't fit, I take it?" Yeah, we were cool like that.
Well, the new abode is a more than twice the size of the last house and I can't always hear or see the new UPS guy. Sometimes he comes at 2pm. Sometimes he comes at 8pm. Sometimes I answer the door in a bathrobe with wet hair after diving down the stairs hoping he won't escape before I can get there. Yesterday I was downstairs reorganizing my new "wine cellar," which is more like a cave under the stairs, but it's my dark, damp happy place. "Stealth boy substitute UPS driver" must have knocked like a girl or failed to make full contact with the doorbell because I missed the dude by 12 minutes. The last thing I wanted was customer wine to be jiggling along on the back of a hot truck for another day or two, so we had a talk today. Stealth boy: "You mean you were home?" "Yes, I was downstairs. Dude. Give me time to get to the door. You see the size of this house? I don't have a butler. Is this your regular route? This is my business you know, and no, all of this wine is not for me either."
Stealth boy: "Not all of it? No, this route belongs to an older guy. He hurt his back."
Me: "Probably carrying all my wine up that long driveway."
Stealth boy: "Yeah, probably."
Smartass. What can brown do for you indeed.
So here I sit finishing out the month before a nice, long, indulgent weekend. Just me, the internet, my application for the ISG's Somm Diploma Program, and my study guide for the CSW I'm scheduled to take in two weeks. And Henriot.
I'll leave you all with a few words of wisdom:
"Cheers to the freakin' weekend, I'll drink to that." (Rihanna)
Cheers to the freaking weekend, indeed!
ReplyDeleteI miss houses the size that need butlers (yes I'm aware that sounds spoiled). But I'm renovating my 6x8 master bath today. So... No sympathy for you, my dear!
In order to do that, I bought vodka, wine & batteries at the store today. The checkout girl laughed and said, "guess we know what YOU'RE doing tonight!"
If only...
Maybe we should hook up the checkout girl with my last UPS guy. Have fun with the master bath! xoxo
ReplyDeleteSmart ass UPS dude indeed, don't offer him any wine, ever... My house is small, so I never miss my UPS guy. :)
ReplyDeleteCiao bella! I always give my UPS guy a bottle too! Nice kid, just not his normal route. And always has a smile, which is a nice change from most customer service functions these days..
DeleteI miss my old postman too! Fifty didn't bark at him )
ReplyDeleteCheers to the freaking weekend! x
Sante' gorgeous ~ "I'll drink to that!"
DeleteMere bubbly for leftovers? What a bummer. Pining past apostle’s from UPS. Skipped lunch denial. Trash bag attacks and mirror phobia. Sounds like a classic case of hooch cellar psychosis. A.k.a; ‘Vapour Caper’. One has perhaps become just a tinsy winsy lickle bit over immersed in her work of late? Thou may thus have become a tad ‘too hippy happy’ in that dark, damp, musty place thou has been staking herself out in under the stairs there?? Try peering outside before sundown. Just once or twice a week initially should do it. Sun bed goggles help a treat too… no seriously, they do. Freezing leftover alcho-dregs is a great route back to enjoying healthy solid food again for what it’s worth. You may need to seek some brawny outside help with this one though Valerie, ie… the transition to freezer part.
ReplyDeletePS: Re – AdoC’s bath comment. LOL’s. I just figured out the ‘batteries’ part. She’s got one of those handy handbag cocktail mixer’s hasn’t she! Lord knows why she’d want to mix vodka and red wine together though. Eeeeeuwe.
You're so right, Phil. Been locked up in the house being held hostage by service pros who give you some bullshit "9 to 5" window when they can show up for a mere 4 minutes of poking at an electrical panel or phone jack, (no, that is not code) or a UPS guy that comes at o-whenever-the-hell-thirty he feels like it. However, had a lovely weekend away in the mountains with friends, hiking, lots of vino, and the cell phone pretty much kicked under the bed & left to vibrate on its lonesome. Kinda just what the doctor ordered (even the vibrating part). Eeeuwe indeed, Phil. :)
DeleteChampagne is at the very top of my food pyramid always
ReplyDeleteThe bottle didn't last long at all...definitely have switched food priorities lately. xo
DeleteCheers to getting settled into your new home!
ReplyDeleteCheers right back at you, Michele. Still adjusting & figuring out my groove...hoping to get it back real soon.
Deletehey lady!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWell hey yourself! I know, I've been a very bad blogging buddy...I hope all is well in the Carib!
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say that I don't remember ever about running into myself, but I used to drink an awful lot...
ReplyDelete