"Eastern Diamondbacks & Cobras have excellent ratings on Amazon!" he exclaims from across the kitchen table. IPads, not newspapers, open as I scanned daily wine news and blogs and he leveraged his Amazon Prime powers for good, not evil, in his hunt for rubber snakes. A morning in a life I never envisioned, that's for sure.
"I'm so tweeting this," I said. Next thing you know, I'm tweeting back and forth with another wine purveyor in town about other uses for the snakes, i.e. keeping away solicitors. Brilliant!
Yes, rubber snakes. As I may have mentioned during the moving chaos that ensued last summer as we combined households, we also gained four beds for gardening. The previous owners, however, left as the garden waxed Jurassic and a giant killer pumpkin patch and umbrella-sized squash leaves from hell threatened to swallow me whole. I mean what were these people thinking and why is there a tomato jungle in my back yard?! We ended up with about four pumpkins, baskets of zucchini, yellow squash, green beans, tomatoes, and carrots. We only ran across one snake - the real kind.
Throughout the winter, we'd watch as a particularly "healthy" rabbit dug up the few remaining short, fat carrots, leaving orange chunks in the snow. I nicknamed him "Bunny Backhoe" because he'd burrow into the bed and eat for 45 minutes straight like he was at a buffet.
So as we plot out this year's plots, we are seeking tactics for keeping the local wildlife from descending upon our veggies like a basketball team at Golden Corral food bar. First rule - no over planting. Second rule - no over planting. I am not a farmer. 'Nuff said. Herbs, tomatoes, some/SOME squash, garlic, lettuce, peppers - anything not requiring a machete and a jeep this year, thank you very much!
Well, look what the UPS guy delivered last week (along with my wine, of course).
The next morning I wake up to find this bunch-o-fun on my dining room floor. It's hilarious seeing a herd, pack, or whatever it is snakes travel in were snakes to convoy, in a pile looking at me as I make cappuccino.
Four of the snakes have since been deployed to their assigned posts across the four plant beds. They seemed to be working over the last three or four days, probably since it was about 70-80 degrees outside. Today, however, there are more bunny tracks all over the yard and the snakes are being ignored. Why? Bunny Backhoe can't see the snakes. Why? Here's why:
Because you can't. see. snakes. under. the. snow.
Did I mention it's been snowing for 12 straight hours? And it's May?
Bunny 1; Snakes 0.
Peace, love, and boots after Easter!
"I'm so tweeting this," I said. Next thing you know, I'm tweeting back and forth with another wine purveyor in town about other uses for the snakes, i.e. keeping away solicitors. Brilliant!
Yes, rubber snakes. As I may have mentioned during the moving chaos that ensued last summer as we combined households, we also gained four beds for gardening. The previous owners, however, left as the garden waxed Jurassic and a giant killer pumpkin patch and umbrella-sized squash leaves from hell threatened to swallow me whole. I mean what were these people thinking and why is there a tomato jungle in my back yard?! We ended up with about four pumpkins, baskets of zucchini, yellow squash, green beans, tomatoes, and carrots. We only ran across one snake - the real kind.
Throughout the winter, we'd watch as a particularly "healthy" rabbit dug up the few remaining short, fat carrots, leaving orange chunks in the snow. I nicknamed him "Bunny Backhoe" because he'd burrow into the bed and eat for 45 minutes straight like he was at a buffet.
So as we plot out this year's plots, we are seeking tactics for keeping the local wildlife from descending upon our veggies like a basketball team at Golden Corral food bar. First rule - no over planting. Second rule - no over planting. I am not a farmer. 'Nuff said. Herbs, tomatoes, some/SOME squash, garlic, lettuce, peppers - anything not requiring a machete and a jeep this year, thank you very much!
Well, look what the UPS guy delivered last week (along with my wine, of course).
The next morning I wake up to find this bunch-o-fun on my dining room floor. It's hilarious seeing a herd, pack, or whatever it is snakes travel in were snakes to convoy, in a pile looking at me as I make cappuccino.
Four of the snakes have since been deployed to their assigned posts across the four plant beds. They seemed to be working over the last three or four days, probably since it was about 70-80 degrees outside. Today, however, there are more bunny tracks all over the yard and the snakes are being ignored. Why? Bunny Backhoe can't see the snakes. Why? Here's why:
Because you can't. see. snakes. under. the. snow.
Did I mention it's been snowing for 12 straight hours? And it's May?
Bunny 1; Snakes 0.
Peace, love, and boots after Easter!
Brrrr! Its already in the 90s here. I can't believe fake snakes work on bunnies. Any advice on keeping the neighborhood cats away?
ReplyDeletePeace and cheers!
It's kind of funny watching the bunny (I rap too) stand up on his back legs and peering into the yard now at his former feasting spot. I heard cocoa shells worked on keeping cats out of the garden, but have not had to test that theory. Am thinking the cats would just bat the rubber snakes around ... kind of like the time I caught my cat playing with a scorpion. Hugs from the winter wonderland!
DeleteWhoa, are u saying the snakes worked???? wth? we're having issues w/bunnies as well.. Snakes won't help cuz, they are eating the lawn- wouldn't look too cool to lay out snakes along the driveway. Also the gardener would think I lost it...Cocoa shells will kill dogs.. maybe not rabbits... My lone rabbit poops on my slate walkway! can't believe one rabbit could crap so much!. Their poop also kills the lawn-.
ReplyDeleteThe snakes work, Chrissy! Never tried cocoa shells, maybe because I always had a dog (but we don't have a stray dog - or cat - problem here either). I actually like the idea of "Snakes on a lawn" - wasn't that a movie?? (kidding) BTW - Isn't it lovely how this blog went from "Oh, I'm living a fabulous life in Italy waking up to church bells and drinking wine all day" to "Rabbit crap and rubber snakes"?? Ahh, reality. :) xo
Deletethe snake idea sounds good except what a pain in the butt to remove them to have the grass cut! lol....
DeleteRubber snakes to ward off bunnies! What a concept, Val!!
ReplyDeleteWell, it worked for a little while. We looked out a few days later and saw the bunny sunning himself, belly up, only 6 inches from the snake next to my sage. Bastard. xo
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