There are those mornings one wakes up in a puddle of
drool refreshed and determined to get the day going in the right
direction. A little yoga, some
green tea, and a giant honkin’ bowl of granola, fresh berries, and yogurt.
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| Photo Credit |
NOTE: My spoons
have all taken a vote. If it’s not
thick like spackling compound it’s not yogurt & they won't play.
Such was this morning.
The tea kettle was starting to whistle, and I was being carried around the kitchen on a wave of post-Yoga bliss - that stoned
feeling of euphoria-meets-mellow. I didn’t even jump - just observed - as the
blueberries themselves made a collective decision to jump.
I watched in fuzzy slow motion as the new carton of berries
hurled itself toward the floor and broke open to free the blueberries.
NOTE 2: Free the blueberries is not to be
confused with “Free the Grapes” which advocates against archaic liquor laws
that “protect” consumers in backward-@$$ states (like my home state of the
people’s republic of PA from which I’ve since defected) from the evils of
direct shipping & consumer choice.
Back to the blueberries I was less appalled by the liberated blueberries and mess all over
my kitchen floor than I was by the one fugitive berry that escaped under the
stove. However, I could still hear
the “MotherFuqr” escape my lips.
Nice – my first words of the day after “Om.” I should be careful as to never chant “OmMotherFuqr” in a
Yoga studio, yes? Because it will surely be in my head.
I gracefully grounded myself onto the hardwood floor as if I were in a sunny field of blueberries and
assumed the position of Blueberry-Picking-UpAsana. I decided to make it into a meditation of sorts. Look at me! I'm picking fresh blueberries (off my floor...dipstick).
Now I’m meditating on retrieving that rogue blueberry from
under the stove – maybe after I finish my green tea. I'll pretend I'm bravely retrieving an ancient treasure that contains the secret of life!
Of course we all know the secret of life comes in a bottle...
Of course we all know the secret of life comes in a bottle...
OmShantiMotherFuqr.
Perhaps another session on the mat? one in which you don't 'OmMothrFuqr' ?
ReplyDeleteAlthough it does have a certain ring to it...
Just trying to practice my Yoga "off the mat." Way harder than it sounds, yes? Namaste, bella!
ReplyDeletePS - @ADoC - I can't comment on your blog for some reason. 1) Glad we both used the term "mother" in aggressive context today. 2) Thanks for the reminder to run that "rip-a-lady" (that device that rips hair out by the roots that the laser missed) over my gams today. Loved your last two posts, however, blogger is being a "mother" & not letting me comment on yours.
ReplyDeleteThose look like chocolage covered blueberries in the photo...mmm.
ReplyDeleteNamaste MotherFuqr
I rather like your new mantra.
ReplyDeleteOr you could leave it there and post monthly updates, from the vantage point of Mr. Motherfuqr Berry, you know like a guest poster. This is what my life has become?! I now see rogue fruit as possible blog ideas....need to check into getting one of those life thingies everyone keeps talking about.
ReplyDelete@B To The Third: Mmmm - chocolate covered blueberries. NamasteMotherFuqr right back atcha. (No wonder I just lost a Yoga follower on twitter... :P)
ReplyDelete@Michele - Hello, lovely. Just one of those observations when people who live alone realize - "Really? My first words of the day?" I haven't mumbled the F-word before 10AM (usually upon receipt of an asinine e-mail) since before I retired.
@Sam - Shhh - it's still under there. Exactly - I'm blogging about a fucken blueberry; remember this time last year it was a fishtank & a juicer when I was in Florida with the parents? (Stay tuned for some more of that from the land of the Pink Flamingo & 2-for-1 Turtles & Sweatshirts) next month. #TheWritingWellRunsDry.
Too funny, that's exactly what I use too. Talk about pain! And yes, obviously my writing well as run dry too. Oh well, off to use the Epi-Pain-er. I have a "date" tonight and I suppose I should make more of an effort this time.
ReplyDeleteNo idea why you can't comment over at my place. Very odd.
Need to go drink before I rip. Cheers!
Pain - schmain. I actually enjoy it - but then again I think the dentist drill tickles & usually giggle my ass off when they drill.
ReplyDeleteWill try your place again this week. Drink & rip, sister; drink and rip! Hugs ~
I am adopting your chant to see me through the most stressful days as I shall think of you and giggle each time I say it. By the way-is that posture achievable? I have a funny feeling I would need more than granola and berries to get into it-or more appropriately-out of it.
ReplyDeleteOff to chant - it beats muttering.
Great post funny lady!
XXX
Oh how I've missed you & welcome back to connectivity (no thanks to BT). Actually, Carol, that pose is achievable (ask my hips) - preferably in a hot studio after much warming up & practice. Thanks for stopping by! I've enjoyed your last two as well, but found it more efficient to give you a shout out on twitter or fb than wading through dozens of other comments. I'm all about 'express blogging' these days. xo
ReplyDelete